Thursday, January 26, 2012

Sh*t I learned on the internets (day three):

What the expression ASL *really* means:

"A/S/L" is short for asking "what is your age/sex/location?” an abrupt question common in online chat forums. It is how regular users identify if you are a man or woman, if you are in their age range and where you live. No, no, NO, friends. *shakes head*
A/S/L is the mating call of pedophiles. For non-pedophiles (I prefer the term "normal folks") like myself, it translates to: "Helllllooooooo! I'm a 50 year old man who HOPES that you are a 12 year old girl. Confirm?"

Hrm. I can play this game. When he finally gets around to asking my name… usually sometime after he’s asked for a picture of my boobs… I respond “Chris Hansen”… and then say something like, “I’ve used LogMeIn to transfer the data on your hard drive to the FBI”.

*I* know that I can’t do that but I bank on the fact that most pervs only learned to turn the computer on to stalk MySpace and Facebook in hopes of catching a prepubescent girlfriend… they aren’t all tech savvy and shit.

Warning that should have come before any installments of "Sh*t I learned on the internets".... this is going to get really raunchy. And may have pictures. I hope there are pictures. If you don't know me or you *think* you know me because we went to the same Sunday School class when we were 9... proceed at your own risk. If you are easily offended... damn, if there's any shot in this fresh hell that you *could* be offended... it wouldn't be a bad idea to shut my notifications off or unfriend me all together. *smooches*

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